We Tried Virtual Reality Porn at E3, Here’s What It Was Like

As I was waiting in a line filled with sexually liberated tech bro’s and a few nervous Japanese guys, one worry raced to the forefront of my mind. What if I pop a boner? Is this experience going to be so realistic that I lose all context that I’m in public and drop my pants and begin masturbating furiously?

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Okay, now only one person in front of me, it was a girl, shockingly decent looking at that. The smartly dressed professional pornographer asked her if she would like the female perspective, or the male perspective. She asked what’s the difference?

He explained they have a female perspective where you can kind of see it going in and out. He told her when guys watch that one, it gives them a whole new respect for the female gender, it can be kind of scary to watch this big thing go into your body like that. It’s really quite invasive, never really thought of it like that. She chose the female perspective.

It’s worth noting that they provide you with a hygienic eye mask before you put on the goggles, the similarities shared between the mask and a condom did not get past me.

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I was up, it was about 11AM and I was hopped up on coffee, this was going to be an unusual experience given the time of day and this somewhat formal setting. I chose the male perspective, as I had already gotten fucked enough on a $500/ night hotel room and Uber surge pricing that somehow stayed above 2.0X for the entire duration of the convention.

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I put on my face condom, and slipped on the Samsung Gear VR goggles with the assistance of the booth attendant. Is it tight enough? I was instantly transported into a pool setting on a hot summer day in what appeared to be a backyard somewhere in one of the various porn cesspools of Southern California. The concept was creative, I’ll give them that. A busty and attractive young lady approached me and explained she was here for to provide the “dick and ball cleaning service.” What followed was a very thorough five-minute cleaning session in which she polished the member with a variety of bodily orifices.

You are in the perspective of the male performer, his eyes are your eyes. As you look down at your body you can see your chest and stomach, legs and feet. If you look up into the sky you see blue clouds, look to the left you see the pool house with not much going on, and if you look at your crotch you see the action. One interesting thing to note was that the male performer lay there completely motionless and prone, almost like a corpse. The booth attendant explained to me that this was very deliberate, based on feedback that viewers did not want the male performer doing anything as it takes away from the reality of the experience.

There was definitely something to it, the video was a bit grainy and overbright, but when the female performer leaned in close and whispered something to my face, I felt a slight tinge of goosebumps. The binaural audio setup was really the most impressive thing about the whole experience. Overall the video quality could use some improvement. Perhaps if we tried the product another compatible system, such as Facebook’s recently acuihired VR gem Oculus.

When you removed the goggles, there is definitely a brief sensory shock, in this case one of disappointment as I would prefer the virtual reality world to my current situation. I did not get an erection. Overall 6/10 boners.