Parents… sometimes they’re super understanding and maybe even a little cool, but most of the time, nah, they just don’t get it.
Just because you’re parked in a back alley spending time with a lady of the evening, or going on a shooting spree through suburbia, or any of the other countless and tasteless things you can do in some of the games on this list, that doesn’t mean that you’re going to be influenced to do those things in real life. It also doesn’t mean that you want your parents sitting right there, critiquing the games you’re playing based on watching for a minute or two.
See also: Parents being evil to their gamer kids.
Sometimes it’s just the humor and mature jokes that make a game awkward to play when your parents are in the room. The worst part is when your parents try to be ‘cool’ about it, that’s almost even more awkward.
Here are 8 games that you might consider turning off when you hear the garage door opening because you want to avoid yet another awkward encounter.
Any Grand Theft Auto Game
Each of the GTA games could have their own entry on this list, so we just grouped them all together to save space. If you’re lucky, your parents will see you driving down the freeway peacefully while listening to a song they recognize. “What a charming car game!” If you aren’t lucky, they’ll decide to show up right as you’re lighting up a doobie, or about to get balls deep (In the game world, of course.)
Duke Nukem 3D
Can you believe that this game is 20 years old? In one more year, DN3D game will be old enough to do many of the activities that it depicts, like hanging out at strip clubs and getting hammered. The hugely anticipated sequel, Duke Nukem Forever, didn’t fare so well – but if you’re fiending for your Duke fix, check out the high-res texture pack to modernize a classic.
This game was a flop, and attributed to the bankruptcy of Acclaim in 2004. Was it worth it? Well, it definitely helped warm people up the idea of of more adult-themes games, but most of the publicity that BMX XXX received was of the negative variety.
None of that would really matter if the game itself was incredible, but it pulled very mixed reviews, averaging about 50/100. Sony wouldn’t even allow it to be released on PS2 until they created an edited version (what’s the point, then?), which was interesting because you could get this title on Gamecube, a divergence from Nintendo’s typical family-friendly vibe. “Hey kids, go to bed, Poppa needs to play his bike game…”
This one made our list because, let’s face it – would you rather your parents walk in as you’re grinding though the warehouse in THPS, or grinding on the handlebars like a stripper in BX?
Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball
DoA Xtreme Beach Volleyball took boob physics to the next level. The Dead or Alive series is an off-shoot of Ninja Gaiden. Most of the Dead or Alive games are fast-paced fighters, but this one took place entirely on the beach, in bikinis. Unlike BMX XXX, Xtreme Beach Volleyball was actually a pretty good game underneath the sexy coat of paint. In fact, the 3rd game in the series is currently in development for PS4. Keep doing your thing, Team Ninja.
If GTA is on this list, how could Saint’s Row be left off? Saint’s Row is basically GTA on crack… or PCP, or something. Whatever it is, it goes way over the top at every opportunity. It’s so cartoonishly insane that it almost crosses back over the line. Almost. With weapons like The Penetrator, there’s always room for SR on this list.
It’s not as kill-y as certain games, but Bully caused a real ruckus because the violence took place inside of schools. Rockstar has a way with making games that make parents uncomfortable, here’s to hoping they never change.
Aside from the heavy violence and extreme gore, which let’s face it, everybody is pretty much desensitized to these days… there’s one scene in particular that will make for a very awkward family dinner in The Witcher 3. You know the one I’m talking about.
Call of Duty Multiplayer
When your mom comes to visit you in your gaming den, the very last thing she needs to be reminded about is all of her failed relationships and one night stands.