So, in honor of all that (not so) good stuff, let’s hold a celebratory toast. In list form. Specifically, showcasing the ten most despicably terrible Pokéstops found in Pokémon GO so far. Read on, if you dare…
1. The Holocaust Memorial Museum
As if using cellphones in such a place wasn’t bad enough already, people actually turned up and caught Pokémon here. Firstly, it was explicitly stated by the museum that Pokémon GO was prohibited on the grounds, for obvious reasons. Secondly, it’s a graveyard dedicated to the millions of victims of Nazism. So in all seriousness, this really is a fucked up place for a Pokéstop. And it has three.
Thankfully, the Pokéstops are in the process of being removed.
2. The 9/11 Memorial Site
It’s another memorial, but it’s a worthy mention. Home to the largest terrorist attack in history, the 9/11 Memorial Site actually had a Pokéstop at it (we’re not sure if it’s still there). When thousands of people visit every day to mourn, remember, and reflect on the terrible events that happened there, it’s a massive disrespect to play Pokémon GO, turning the memorial into some sort of entertainment attraction – even if it is just digital.
3. Dead Baby Memorial
This time around, we’re focusing on, apparently, a memorial dedicated to dead babies. The aborted children memorial, from somewhere or other (we’re not quite sure) is surely attracting attention from all around as players flock to stock up on supplies and eggs. Perhaps it should be removed? Perhaps it’s already been removed. Either way, we’re starting to see an unfortunate pattern here. Maybe Niantic should have developed some sort of “sensitive locations detection” script?
4. Auschwitz Memorial
And, once again, more of a serious one. The Auschwitz Memorial in Poland, one of the most brutal concentration camps of the lot, was apparently assigned its own Pokéstop, complete with any unwanted attention that may bring. Let’s be honest – with Pokémon GO having cheery music, a focus on fun, and (it has to be said) gas types, this is honestly one of the worst places in the world for a Pokéstop. Honestly, Niantic. Has this been fixed yet? Let’s hope so.
5. Invisible Playground
It’s more of a funny one, this entry. Apparently, Pokémon GO has the incredible and revolutionary ability to detect invisible playgrounds. We’re not quite sure how Niantic developed this mind-boggling feature, but the implications are huge, and could change the face of the universe forever. We’ve reached out to Niantic for comments on the so called invisible playground. We’ll keep you posted.
6. Sidney Defense Against Zombie Apocalypse
It gets better though. Pokémon GO is actually the forefront of our operations against the undead. There’s a lone cannon, as seen above – and legend has it, Niantic commissioned this exact cannon millennia ago, before the inception of Pokémon themselves. Ever since, it’s been the barrier between our world and their’s, and there’s no telling just how long it can keep this up. If the apocalypse does occur, Niantic will save us all. I’m certain of it.
7. Young human Entertainment
How are the young humans holding up these days? Always on their phones and Nintendo machines, catching those Pokémon people…
And in honor of all those young humans on their Nintendo machines, we present the following: “Young humans Entertainment”. A playpark. Honestly, some of these Pokéstops are hysterical.
8. Hamburger Door Handle
Ah. Never a good day without the appropriate dose of hamburger door handles. Enter Pokémon GO. Not only has Niantic directed us to just the place for such desires, they’ve given us a cute little photo to know what we’re looking for too. Also, doesn’t this mean vegatarians can’t use this Pokéstop? To be fair, the official definition reads “a person who does not eat meat or fish, and sometimes…”
9. Cross Guy
You mean Jesus? Like, only one of the most famous religious prophets of all time? Maybe an atheist named this Pokéstop. An extremely, extremely oblivious, uninformed, atheist. Come to think of it, that sums me up pretty well. Did I name this Pokéstop? Wait…
I’ll be back. I’m having some sort of existential crisis. Thanks, Cross Guy.
10. Mouthful of Seamen
Really. It doesn’t get any better than this. It’s like an amazing pun, sex joke (I’m immature, don’t judge me) and abstract mural all in one. Was this even intentional? I don’t care if it is or isn’t, it’s absolutely fantastic no matter the case…
Mouthful of Seamen. I don’t even know anymore.
Anyway, there’s plenty more to be found. And chances are, plenty more laughs to be had, besides the few you’ve hopefully just had. Originally, the article was focusing on more unfortunate, unpleasant Pokéstops, so I decided to lighten the mood a little with invisible playgrounds, zombie defense cannons, and a mouthful of seamen. There’s a story to be found here, I know it.
Stay tuned to Fraghero for all the best on Pokémon GO and more.